Everyone knows someone who’s often speaking a little too much. You can barely get a word in yourself, and sometimes the conversations will not stray from talking about the other person. So, I share a few tips to deal with this better, in case you’re not sure how!
- Identifying the cause
It can sometimes be annoying when someone talks too much, but often there’s a reason for it. Maybe the person feels lonely and is happy to talk to you. It could also be that someone is very nervous. Then it helps to make them feel comfortable and safe. It can be difficult, but identifying the cause is important.
2. Humour/politeness
Does the other person keep on talking without stopping anytime soon? You may have a tendency to interrupt someone, but this can make the other person insecure. Interrupt the other person with a joke or try to interrupt the story a little more often or start talking about a different topic in a respectful way. You can also include someone else in the conversation.
3. Indicate boundaries
There’s probably a reason for talking too much. Of course, you can indicate your limits. Especially if you hang out with this person a lot or if it’s a friend. For example, say that you notice that they want to share a lot with you, but that you sometimes want to share something yourself or that you need more space from time to time, but that this doesn’t mean that you don’t want to listen to them. If necessary, agree that you will speak to them again tomorrow or next week, but that there are also times when it’s less convenient for you or that your head is full for a while. This has nothing to do with the other person.
4. Honesty
If you notice that you’re really starting to be bothered by the other person’s behaviour, it’s fair to start the conversation. Communicate what you notice and what’s bothering you and ask if there’s a reason why they’re saying so much. Emphasise that you think the bond/relationship is important, but that you notice that it sometimes becomes too much for you and that you’d like to solve this together. Is there anything you can do to make them feel safer or to reduce insecurity? Are there things going on in their private life that weigh heavily? Good communication always leads to a solution.
Love, Skye Lewis 
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